Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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