party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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