at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
