did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
