Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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