Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
