My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I got chris browned last night
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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