Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
