Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
