you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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