dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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