She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
