Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
