my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize