I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
