How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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