Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
