i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
