Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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