we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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