I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
