I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
