Little spoons don't ask big questions
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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