Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
