Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
