Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
