Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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