We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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