and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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