Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
