She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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