Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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