I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
