I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
