Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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