His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
