tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize