I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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