I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
