2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
