OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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