By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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