I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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