It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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