So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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