he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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