Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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