I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
