We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
COCAINE IS GR8
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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