i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
