I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
