also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
