there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
