I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
