Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
