i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
