Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
