he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I love you. Go after that dick
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