Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
