even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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