Yo dont text me then not text me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
