Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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